To what extent can I classify myself?
I long to be a person of great intellect and wisdom. But I believe I am too young to be living my life in that type of way, so I let youngness and glee take over to replace the inner-analytical nature that would usually control my actions.
I spend most of my time thinking, and rarely talk to people unless they initiate the conversation. But yet, I love conversation and talking. However, my mind offers me more than enough entertainment at times as I over-analyze, criticise, and make assumptions of the world around me that I fail to make sense of to others... except my mother, she understands sometimes.
My emotions get the best of me at times, especially when I experience failure or extreme disappointment in myself. Times of immorality with myself or others lay heavy on my soul. No matter how much I think I know the world from my own pondering, I still trust God always and never put my own words over his.
How can a person both serious and playful, mature and immature, social and antisocial be classified? The Myers-Briggs personality type of "INTP" that I fall under gives me some answers, for in the result I have found that I am a "chameleon", able to adapt myself to the people surrounding me with ease, but I always remain true to what I personally think. Like now matter how popular I could get, I would still find myself at home watching old episodes of Star Trek, drawing pictures of fictional characters, and researching psychology, medical disorders, and custums of other cultures on the internet until I am an expert.

But still I remain confused. I can easily go about being a young, foolish person while still maintaining my serious mind and nature. Maybe when I get older, my mind will succumb to the more serious side of my being.
All I know is that maybe I love stories about aliens, foreigners, or different cultures because I feel like one myself. I feel as if I have to somehow BLEND with all the people I am surrounded by, but still maintain who I am and never let go. I'm different, and maybe I just get by because I don't LOOK like a nerd who enjoys sitting around and watching Star trek. Maybe I get by because my ability to observe and adapt has made me a good actress.

I am obsessed with understanding things, and quickly get bored when I master them. The human mind (especially mine) is something I don't believe I could ever fully master, so therefore I am hooked on self analysis and observing others. Maybe I will become some sort of shrink someday? Who knows.

And is it weird that for most of my life I think I should have been born a man.. simply based on my unfair sexist view that men are taken more seriously?

I don't expect anyone to read all this. If you have, well, you should be doing something better with your time! I just feel safe posting rants on deviantart, because artists are more likely to relate to me then just run of the mill Facebook people.

Ciao bellas.
-Allie